


Shadows and Tall Trees

by cool_nick_miller



Category: New Girl
Genre: Angst, Developing Relationship, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, High School, High school Nick and Jess, Teenage Drama
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-09-15
Packaged: 2019-04-25 10:23:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14376780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cool_nick_miller/pseuds/cool_nick_miller
Summary: A High School Nick and Jess one-shot from a Tumblr prompt.**UPDATE - Now a multi fic, the story will have time jumps of differing periods for each chapter as it follows Nick and Jess from High School onwards.**





	1. Chapter 1

Shadows and Tall Trees:

Gripping the branch of the tree a little way above her head, Jess attempted to haul herself up to sit on it, but found her shoes slipping on the trunk and her feet struggling to find purchase. Sliding to the ground with a bump, she quickly stood up and dusted herself off. Grunting, she huffed out a big breath and blew the hair away from her eyes, preparing herself to try again. Placing one hand on a lower branch for extra balance, Jess tried and failed a second time. Stamping her foot in annoyance, she grabbed the tree trunk again - but was distracted by the loud sound of bike brakes screeching to a halt behind her.

"You look like you could use a hand there, Day."

 _Ugh_.

There was only one person she knew at school who insisted on calling her by her last name.

Turning around and folding her arms, Jess frowned at Nick as he stood there wearing his Cubs hat and straddling his BMX. The increasing darkness of the evening casting his shadow long and thin in front of him as the moon shone brightly.

"You think just because I'm a _girl_ that I need assistance?"

"Uh, _nooo_..." he stepped off his bike and laid it on the floor "...I think you need assistance because I just watched you try to climb this tree with no success for the past five minutes."

"Eww, do you make a habit of loitering in parks to spy on your peers?" Jess crossed her arms.

"Sure." He drawled sarcastically, grinning as her eyes narrowed at him "So do you want my help or not?"

"No! I can do it by myself." Jess jutted out her chin and straightened the hem of her dress before turning back to the tree with a determined look set on her face.

"Okay, suit yourself..." Nick crossed his arms in front of him and watched as she once again scuffed her feet helplessly down the bark of the trunk, fingers turning white as she held on desperately trying to prove him wrong.

"Gahhhh!" She squealed in frustration, slipping and landing on the grass. Turning back to face him, Jess looked at her feet and mumbled towards the ground.

"Oh, I'm sorry Day - I can't quite hear you, you're gonna have to speak up." Nick laughed smugly.

"I _said_...I guess a leg-up would be helpful."

"Ah, I see..." he tapped his fingers on his chin "...well, I'm always happy to oblige when there's a damsel in distress but, there's just one problem."

"What?"

"You didn't use the magic word." Nick bit back a smile and tried to keep his face deadpan.

"Are you _serious_?!"

"Hey, I offered my services for free before but you refused them. So, now, my help comes at a price."

Jess huffed in exasperation, but plastered the sweetest smile she could muster on her face.

" **Please** , Nicholas, would you help me climb the tree?"

"I'd be _delighted_!" He replied with mock excitement, stepping past her and leaning his shoulder against the trunk. He bent his legs slightly and linked his fingers together, bracing his hands on his knee "Hop on."

Jess placed a shoe into the foot-hold he had made for her, then shrieked loudly as Nick unceremoniously flung her upwards towards the lower branches.

She'd had no idea he was quite that strong, although the momentary sensation of feeling weightless in his grip was surprisingly enjoyable.

As she positioned herself to look back over the park, Jess noticed Nick effortlessly pulling himself up behind her.

"Woah, woah, woah! What do you think you're doing?" She asked, extending her arms in his direction.

"I'm joining you...duh!" he said, clambering up and draping his legs either side of a slighter lower branch.

"That wasn't part of the deal!"

"It was in the fine print." He smirked.

"Don't be a wise-ass."

"Look, it's getting dark out. I'm not leaving you up here all by yourself - who knows what kinda weirdos are out there. Someone needs to look out for you."

"I'm a big girl, Nick - I can look after myself."

"After watching you attempting to climb this tree, I respectfully disagree..." he raised a brow then cocked his head towards the hill a little way to their left "Why'd you wanna sit up here by yourself anyway? Isn't Cece down there with Mike and his cronies?"

"Yeah..." Jess sighed "...I sorta felt a little...surplus to requirements."

Nick squinted in the little light that was left and could just make out the figure of Cece locking lips with a guy a year or two older than them, his friends doing the same with other girls and swigging from cans of beer that were being shared around.

"I see. Well, sure looks like they might be a while..."

"No kidding." She said, before nodding to the ground below them where his bike rested "Nice wheels, by the way..."

"They've served me well." He laughed "But I'd be lying if i said I wasn't counting the days until our licenses come through next month. Man, I'm gonna be driving my car everywhere - just you wait."

" _You've_ got a car?" Jess couldn't hide the surprise in her voice, and noted with regret the way Nick's chest puffed out slightly in response.

"Yeah, I do actually." He bristled "It was a gift from my Dad after he taught me how to drive."

"You already learned how to drive?"

"Uh-huh...pretty much the only thing he stuck around long enough to teach me."

There was an evident bitterness to Nick's voice that didn't escape Jess.

"Oh. Well...that's cool, though."

"Mmhmm."

A mutually uncomfortable silence descended between them, and they sat on their respective branches avoiding eye contact. Much to Jess's relief, Nick broke the awkwardness first some time later.

"Hey, look - there's the Big Dipper constellation." he pointed through the leaves to the inky sky where the absence of street lighting within the park meant the stars were becoming increasingly visible as the night took over.

"Technically, the Big Dipper is a pattern of stars in the constellation of_"

"Ursa Major, I know." Nick interrupted.

"Oh so you _were_ listening to Mrs Robertson earlier?"

"Of course. Give me _some_ credit."

"I mean, it was just hard to tell with the concentration you were dedicating to spitballing the back of Winston's head."

"This might be news to you, Jessica, but guys can actually multi-task as well you know..." Nick leaned backwards until he was lying flat on his back on a large branch just below Jess. One leg dangled down to keep his balance as his arms crossed behind his head "...and why were you staring at me in class anyway?"

"I was not!" She protested haughtily.

"Sure sounds like you were pretty interested in what I was getting up to. Just sayin'." He shrugged with a smile.

"No, I...well...it's kind of hard _not_ to be drawn to your stupidity. I was just...uh...waiting for you to get caught so I could enjoy seeing you get detention."

"Oh, so now you _enjoy_ watching me?"

"Stop twisting my words! God, you are infuriating!"

"Thanks!" He grinned up at her, his Cubs hat now slightly skewed to one side of his head, allowing a flop of his dark brown hair to peek through.

Jess huffed and turned her head, looking back over in Cece's direction to check if she was done making out with Mike Simmonds yet.

"They still sucking face down there?" He grimaced.

"Yup."

"Does it look gross? Like he's trying to eat her face?"

"Kind of..." she tilted her head "...but they sure seem to be enjoying it!"

"Amateurs." He tutted.

"Ha! Sure, like you're _such_ an expert."

"I don't mean to toot my own horn but I have been told on several occasions that my kissing is great."

"By who?!" Jess scoffed.

"Alison Daniels, if you must know..."

"Oh, _please_ , she'd have told you anything you wanted to hear if it meant she got another notch on her bow! Girls like her are all the same."

"Well at least they're not hiding out in trees too scared to get kissed." He shot.

"I'm not _scared_ \- I don't want to kiss any of _those_ idiots, they're a bunch of douchbags."

"Nuh-uh. You're scared!" He twirled a finger at her and she swatted him away.

"Am not!"

"Then prove it..." Nick slowly sat upright and twisted his cap backwards on his head, turning so he was now facing her, mischief sparking in his eyes "...why don't you just kiss _me_ instead?"

" _What_?!" Jess recoiled visibly and became increasingly flustered "Wh-Why would you think I would want to do that?"

"It was just a suggestion, sheesh. You don't need to look so disgusted." He frowned.

"No. Nooo! Not happening."

"I thought maybe you'd rather do it with someone a little less... _douchey_."

"Yeah, but...with _you_? No way! That's...we can't, because...it's just...no!"

His eyes narrowed at her insult.

"Whatever, you're probably really bad at it anyway..." he stuck his bottom lip out in that way that made him look like a turtle "I bet all your stupid ribbons and oversized bows get in the way."

"Hey!" She protested.

"Don't dish it out if you can't take it!"

"Oh you wanna trash talk huh? Well-uh–your lips–a-are really soft-looking–" Jess stuttered and immediately panicked as the words flew from her mouth.

"What?!" His eyes were wide with surprise

"I...uh..."

"My lips are 'really soft looking'?!"

"That's not_"

"You...you want them to look... _hard_?" His brows met in confusion.

"No, I didn't mean...it just came out..." Jess mumbled, fingers tangling in her lap as she went her trademark shade of beetroot.

"You're terrible at trash talk, Day. We gotta get you some lessons." He laughed quietly, his chest now level with her knees and hands resting either side of her lap on the branch she was sitting upon.

She smiled back at him, her eyes shining in the moonlight as she chewed on the inside of her cheek. Jess saw the way he swallowed hard as they both fell quiet, and felt her own mouth go dry when he started to move almost imperceptibly closer to her - but the moment was ended abruptly as the shrill voice of a slightly tipsy Cece rang out beneath them.

"Ooh! Jess and a _BOY_ sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-_ oh, wait..." she sounded suddenly disappointed and curled her lip "...it's just _Miller_. In that case, nevermind."

Nick gave Cece a salute of greeting before folding his fingers down one by one, save for the middle one so he could flip her off.

"Ugh. Don't you have somewhere else to be?" She sneered.

"Don't _you_?" He countered "Mike's lips are probably getting cold. Shouldn't you go warm them back up?"

Flicking her long hair over her shoulder, Cece turned her face away from him to look pointedly at her friend.

"You okay up there, Jess? You want to come down with me and Mike?"

"And third-wheel during your tongue off?! How exciting!" Nick scoffed.

"I'm not talking to you, Miller."

He rolled his eyes and leaned his weight back on his hands, trying to look as though he wasn't bothered in the slightest about what Jess's answer would be, but found himself holding his breath as he watched her glance down at him with the faintest of smiles ghosting on her lips.

"I'm good here, Ceec." She nodded "I'll come find you soon."

"Okay..." Cece eyed Jess suspiciously and narrowed her gaze at Nick "...if you're sure."

"She's sure." He squinted back.

"You need me, you just holler okay? I'll be back up here in ten seconds."

"You got it." Jess gave an awkward thumbs up and laughed as Cece began to walk away backwards, using two fingers to gesture from her eyes and back in Nick's direction while menacingly mouthing the words 'I'M. WATCHING. YOU!'

He turned back towards Jess, eyebrows raised.

"She genuinely scares me." He said quietly.

"Ah, she's a softie really. Cece just has a crazy strong Mama Bear thing going on. It's always been that way with us. She likes to protect me."

"Do you need protecting from me?" He asked, coming up on his knees and holding on to her branch for balance.

"I guess that depends..." Jess whispered.

"On what?"

"On how bad your kissing is..."

She grinned as Nick smiled back at her, and felt the butterflies in her stomach fluttering relentlessly when he leaned towards her. Jess closed her eyes, almost too scared to breathe as she waited for his mouth to meet hers. When they did, she smiled inwardly at the realisation his lips _were_ just as soft as they looked.

Her heart was pounding as one of his arms laid across her thighs, while the other curled around her waist to settle on the small of her back. His hold on her as they kissed was strong, and Jess felt like she was in one of those teenage dramas her and Cece loved to watch. Without thinking, she leaned in to him and wound her arms around his neck, throwing them both off balance and breaking their embrace as she nearly toppled forward and screamed. Nick quickly grabbed her waist with both hands, stopping Jess from falling and serving to also help him regain his own bearings.

"Woah! Are you trying to kill us both?!"

" _Me_?! You're the one who made me lose my balance!" She yelled.

"Oh, you liked kissing me _that_ much, huh?"

"You're a jerk." Jess scowled.

"You _liked_ kissing me, it's fine to say that!" Nick grinned, still able to taste her cherry lip balm on his own mouth and struggling to stop his heart from racing so hard he might pass out.

"It was okay, I guess." Jess refused to meet his gaze as she blushed profusely.

"You know...you're kinda cute when you're not being a bossy know-it-all..." He whispered, looking up at her with his chocolate eyes dark and soft, a lop-sided grin on his face that made her stomach flip.

She couldn't quite understand _why_ , because he really was the most annoying boy on the planet. Just this morning in English class he was making fart noises under his armpit and laughing so hard he was practically crying.

What a dream boat.

Yet here she was, sitting in a tree with her mouth still tingling from a kiss she had imagined only existed in the movies.

Nick Miller had kissed her and she _liked_ it.

A _lot_.

Staring down at him, she tried to stop the way her heart was thundering in her chest as he leaned up towards her again, his hands crossed over her legs. Closing her eyes, Jess waited to feel him press his lips to hers a second time.

" _Nick_! There you are - c'mon man, my Mom is gonna flip if I'm not back before curfew!"

She felt the warmth of his arms quickly leave her lap, disappointment washing over her as she opened her eyes to see him hop down from the tree and land square on his feet - like a cat.

"Chill out, Winston - we've got plenty of time." Nick said as he brushed down his jeans.

"No, we really don't!" Winston sulked "And you're only saying that because you want to stay here flirting with Jess."

"Shut up, man!" Nick punched him hard on the arm and scowled, but couldn't stop his cheeks from flaming at the mention of her name.

He picked up his bike, hooking his leg over the frame and leaning to one side to scoop up his backpack, swinging it over one arm with expertise.

Jess let her legs dangle from the branch and swing freely back and forth as she gazed down from her vantage point up in the tree. Holding on to the trunk with one hand, she used the other to push her glasses up her nose and tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. She nodded towards him and bit her lip shyly.

"Goodnight, Miller..."

A smile quirked his mouth upwards as he looked back at her over his shoulder and span his hat back around on his head.

"See ya around, Day..."

...

*A/N - THIS PROMPT HAS ACTUALLY GIVEN ME AN IDEA FOR A SHORT MULTI FIC SET AT DIFFERENT POINTS IN THEIR LIVES PICKING UP FROM WHERE THIS ONE ENDED. I'LL COME BACK TO IT AT SOME POINT :) *


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick knew what he was about to tell Jess was going to change everything - it was why he'd waited three weeks to speak to her. He didn't want to burst this perfect little bubble of happiness they'd all been enjoying, but Nick had learnt the hard way that life had a way of kicking you in the nuts when you least expected it. He'd carried his news around like a stone in his pocket every day, waiting until he could find the right time, but it never came.

***A/N - This one started out as a one shot from a Tumblr prompt by the awesome jakeyjohnson - however, it started some cogs turning at the time about making a multi chapter fic. So I started outlining and thought i'd give it a go, see how it turns out! There will be several big time jumps throughout the fic, that's kinda the idea - each chapter set further on from the previous one. To follow them through their lives from high school onwards. I hope you like it, feel free to send me suggestions lol***

 

Shadows and Tall Trees:

Ch2

…

The sun was a hot yellow ball in the sky, blasting heat downwards on another day of the unrelenting summer. Nick shrugged off his bag and let it fall to his feet as he sought solace beneath the bleachers, removing his cap and running his fingers through the damp hair of his head. Sitting down in the shade, he watched his classmates filing towards the school doors knowing that the bell would ring out soon to signal the start of their last week as high school students. As he waited for Jess to join him in their usual meeting place, a tight ball of nervousness began to form in his gut, and he found his fingers playing with the peak of his hat just for something to do to distract himself. In the two years since their first kiss up high in the branches of what had now become 'their' tree, Nick and Jess had almost become inseparable.

On paper, they were a somewhat unlikely couple, but in reality they just clicked.

She'd helped him learn to become slightly less angry at the world and her limitless heart encouraged him to open up slightly and allow himself to be vulnerable now and again. He accepted that _feeling_ things was how you grew, even if sometimes it hurt. He was a work in progress, but Nick knew he had a safe harbour for his thoughts in Jess. Likewise, Nick had enabled her to loosen up a little. He'd opened up Jess's world to see that life was more than just studying and organising everything to the last minute detail. Sometimes flying by the seat of your pants was exciting and thrilling and the memories to be made from embracing spontaneity far outweighed the potential risks.

They bought out the best in each other and there was an unspoken understanding between them that was on a level even their other best friends couldn't quite match. It was like they'd found a missing part of themselves that they couldn't be without – and thus, their unconventional quartet of Nick, Jess, Winston and Cece and been formed.

Two years of hi-jinks, laughs, a few short lived tears, and a whole lot of mess-arounds had flown past in the blink of an eye.

Nick knew what he was about to tell Jess was going to change everything - it was why he'd waited three weeks to speak to her. He didn't want to burst this perfect little bubble of happiness they'd all been enjoying, but Nick had learnt the hard way that life had a way of kicking you in the nuts when you least expected it. He'd carried his news around like a stone in his pocket every day, waiting until he could find the right time, but it never came. He couldn't bring himself to crush her happiness.

Closing his eyes and sighing heavily, Nick let his chin drop to his chest as he forced himself to take some slow, deep breaths.

Knowing that today _had_ to be the day, and running the unwelcome words over in his head, as he had done thousands of times in the lead up to today, Nick jumped suddenly as he felt two small arms land around his shoulders from behind.

"Hey, Miller!" Jess exclaimed, her perkiness as abundant as ever, landing a tender kiss on his cheek as she placed her head next to his.

"Hey…" He nodded, resting his hands over her fingers and squeezing them gently, forcing out a smile for her benefit.

"Can you believe this is our last week of school?" She asked excitedly, slipping her bag from her shoulder and dropping to her knees beside him, leaning her weight against his arm the same way she always did, waiting for him to lift it up and around her shoulder so she could sink into the space he created.

"Yeah, I know…crazy, huh? Just like that it's all over."

Nick dropped his chin to place a kiss on the top of her head, the smell of her shampoo fogging his senses and making him wish they could just stay sat under the bleachers like this forever. Where nothing could reach them and they could stay in a perfect, happy little bubble of denial.

"So, I was thinking… " Jess laced her fingers through his and stroked her other hand across his back, until it tucked itself into the waistband of his shorts "…that maybe we could take a little road trip to the coast after graduation?"

"Hmm?"

"Yeah, just the two of us on a little adventure over the summer in your car - it'll be _so_ much fun. I've already drawn up a mini list of must-dos…" She started to reel the items off on her fingers "…number one: sleep under the stars, number two: watch the sun rise, number three: paddle in the ocean, number four: fly a kite, number fi_"

"Sure, maybe…" He cut her off, somewhat distracted by the bile he could taste rising at the back of his throat.

"Gee, don't sound too enthused!" Jess laughed, pinching the flesh above his waist. When it didn't have Nick squealing in his usual girly fashion, she frowned and sat back from him slightly "What's up, buttercup? Why so glum?"

"Nothing, I'm fine…it sounds great – really. It's just…" Looking away from her gaze, Nick reached up to rub anxiously at the back of his neck before taking a deep breath to finish his sentence "…you know, I might not have as much free time in the summer as I thought."

"How so?"

Staring up to the metal framework overhead, he swallowed hard and got to his feet. Reaching for her hands, he tugged gently and bought Jess up to meet him then forced himself to look at her. The blue of her eyes was as bright as ever, even out of the daylight. It caught him off guard for just a second, and he opened and closed his mouth silently several times before finally admitting the truth.

"I'm moving house, Jess…"

Her eyebrows rose in surprise, but a smile remained upon her face, so Nick continued hurriedly before the reality set in, when her face would darken and she would punch him in the gut. At least, that's how he always saw it panning out, anyway.

"You are?"

"Uh-huh. My parents have been thinking about it for a while, apparently. It's a bigger place, more rooms…nice garden…" Nick trailed off.

"Well, that's cool I guess." Jess offered brightly.

"It _is_?" His face contorted in confusion. She was taking this far better than expected – perhaps he had been worrying for nothing.

"Sure! At least you won't have to share a bedroom with Jamie anymore..."

"Yeah, finally." He nodded slowly "And you know, you can come visit whenever you want, I swear..."

Her eyes shot up to his at lightning speed, head tilting slowly to the side and Jess was sure she must have misheard.

_Please, God. Let her have misheard._

"Wait...I can _what_? What do you mean ' _come visit'?_ " Jess swallowed nervously, her stomach starting to squirm as she saw Nick close his eyes in regret.

All too late, she realised that she had completely misunderstood.

This was not going to be a move around the block, or even the next town over – the look on his face alone told her that much. The apology in his eyes scared her, and Jess felt her blood turn cold despite the sweltering heat of the sun outside.

"Nick…wh-where are you moving to?" Her voice faltered slightly as she tried to suppress the sudden panic that was worming its way through her gut.

His eyes fell to his feet and he scuffed his shoe along the dusty ground a few times in silence.

" _Nick?_ " She pleaded.

There was a long pause while he chewed helplessly on his bottom lip, wishing there was some other option ahead of him.

But the decision had been made, and contracts had been signed – he was moving away, whether he liked it or not.

And he did _not_.

"Chicago..." Nick whispered.

For the first time in his life, Nick had actually seen what it was like to witness the colour drain from someone else's face right before his very eyes, and it made his heart seize up his chest. He was still holding her hands, and felt the way her fingers had instinctively held on tighter at the news. The school bell rang out loud over the grounds, and the crowds of kids milling around outside began to file into the school building, but the two of them remained stood in complete silence.

"When?" Her pained voice finally broke the void of sound.

"A couple days after graduation…"

Nick felt her hands slip from his grasp as Jess backed away from him with an expression on her face that made him feel sick. He never thought in a million years that he would be the one to put it there.

" _No_ …" Jess croaked out, barely loud enough to register as a whisper.

"Jess, wait…" He begged.

Reaching for her, his heart sank in his chest as she forcibly shrugged him off . Turning on her heel, Jess knelt quickly to gather her things, not noticing her biology book fall from her bag as she hurried away from Nick as fast as she possibly could.

…

…

Cece was sitting on the little wall by the entrance doors, the same as every other day - swinging her legs back and forth in the sunshine and adjusting the oversized sunglasses on her nose while she waited for her best friend. She let her eyes drift across the grounds, trying to spot the dark head of hair accented by some colourful bow or other as it bobbed towards her, but there was nothing on the horizon. Checking her watch and knowing that they were cutting it _very_ fine to reach registration on time, Cece stood to try and see what the hold up was. Jess always met Nick under the bleachers before school – but she was never late to class, **ever**.

Suddenly, a flash of bright green caught her eye as a figure hurried towards her.

A concerned look appeared on her features as Jess got closer, tears evidently streaming down her face and her smudged mascara becoming more noticeable with every stride nearer.

"Woah, woah, woah - what's wrong?"

Cece was nearly knocked backwards as Jess piled into her open arms, the crying loud in her ear as she bent forward a little to squeeze her friend tightly. As the sobbing continued, she gently prised Jess away from her by the shoulders.

"Babe, what's happened? Talk to me Jessica, you're scaring me here!"

But Jess could barely speak through her upset, and the only noises being produced when she opened her mouth were little hiccupy sounds as she gulped at the air.

"Ni-ni- _nick_ …" She cried, fresh tears tumbling down her cheeks.

"Nick?!" Cece scrunched up her nose.

The sounds of someone running towards them made both girls turn their heads towards the sound. As soon as Jess realised it was Nick frantically making a bee line for them, she swiped furiously under her eyes with the back of her hand and grabbed Cece's elbow.

"He can't…see me…like…this" She begged, eyes wide as saucers "Can you…please see what he wants? I can't talk to him…not right now…I _can't_!"

"Okay, it's fine - you're _fine_. I got this, honey – you go wait for me inside. I'll be through in a second, alright?" Cece pulled a tissue out of her bag and pressed it into Jess's hand, guiding her towards the double doors to their left and turning to face Nick as his footsteps pounded louder against the pavement in front of her.

" _You_ …" She pointed, her face so contorted with anger it stopped Nick in his tracks a few feet away " _What_ did you do?"

"Not now, Cece…" He panted, his hands resting heavily on his knees as he tried to get his breathing back to normal "…I really need to talk to Jess."

He tried to sidestep her and move towards the building, but felt her fingers grab his elbow with a death grip. Her freakish strength had always scared the heck out of him, if he was honest.

"Yes, _now_." Cece spoke through gritted teeth "That girl is my heart, and I won't let you treat her badly, Miller. Don't make me kick your ass. Start talking. What the hell is going on?"

"My family is moving back to Chicago after graduation." Nick's voice cracked and he spoke quickly, like the words caused him physical pain to repeat "Happy, now?"

Cece's face softened immediately, and she released her hold on his arm.

"Oh, shit…"

"Yeah, ' _oh shit'_." He sighed "Look, can you please just let me through so I can find Jess before registration ends? I'm not trying to upset her, I just need to give her this…" Nick held up Jess's biology book weakly "…it fell out of her bag when she ran off, so…"

"Listen…" Cece smiled kindly "Jess is having a tough time processing the news right now, Nick" She squeezed his shoulder, a move that neither of them was quite comfortable with, but one she felt he needed in the moment "I think you kinda blind-sided her, she just needs a little space to get her head around it, you know? But, I can take it to her for you?"

Nick's chin dropped to his chest in resignation and he shrugged sadly as he handed the textbook over before burying his hands back in his pockets.

"Sure. If that's what she wants…I gotta go meet Winston and break the news to him anyway."

As Cece walked away and reached for the door handle, she heard him call after her.

"Hey, Parekh? Can you maybe give her a message from me?"

A little smile curled her mouth as she turned back round and nodded in agreement.

"Can you ask her to meet me here after school?"

"I think I can do that, yes."

"But, like, right here. In this spot. Not the bleachers. After school, okay?

"I got it." She rolled her eyes, then paused for a moment with one foot across the building threshold and called after him "Hey, Nick?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry. You know, about your shitty news."

"Me too…" Nick replied with a pained smile.

…

…

Rubbing his palms nervously down the front of his shorts, Nick leaned back against the wall outside the school building as students filed out passed him. Yelling, shouting and laughing at the top of their lungs, Nick watched on in envy at their carefree mood and curled his lip at his own shitty luck.

He should be used to this by now, knowing that the good things in his life never lasted – but some part of him had always hoped that would change, had always clung to the hope maybe Walt could just get a normal, steady 9-5. Nick dreamed of a life where his Dad would be there at dinner every day so that he wouldn't have to stare at the empty seat at the head of the table, or see the cutlery sitting forlornly that his Mom laid out so carefully 'just in case'.

He hated never knowing if they were going to be able to meet rent that month, or if Nick would have to go and plead with the Landlord to give them an extra week yet again while his Mom somehow found the cash by pawning off family jewellery - only for Walt to swan back in through the front door a few days later laden with a new dress for Bonnie and baseball mitts or some other guilt gift for Nick and Jamie. What he hated the most was the way his Mom and Jamie always welcomed Walt as if he was some returning hero. Nick was old enough now to know that simply wasn't the truth, and the constant excuses and avoidance of responsibility from his father were starting to wear thin.

But still he ended up having to go through with this stupid move – because he knew that if he didn't, Jamie and his mother would have no one in their corner once Walt inevitably disappeared again once his past starting catching up with him. Someone had to look out for them - and more often than not, that role fell squarely at Nick's feet.

Blowing out a long, low breath, Nick removed and replaced his cap several times as he waited hopefully for Jess to turn up. He was counting on Cece to have passed the message on, and although he had no reason to doubt her, the fact that the crowds of students had already started to dwindle was making him twist his fingers together in that way he did when he was feeling anxious. With only the stragglers left ambling their way out of the exits on to the school grounds, Nick couldn't get rid of the sinking feeling in his stomach. Pushing himself off from the wall with his right foot, he scooped up his bag with a sigh and reluctantly stepped away from the building.

"Giving up on me already, Miller?"

_Jess._

His heart flew to his mouth as he span on the spot to see her standing there holding on to the door handle, as if she wasn't quite strong enough to look at him without support, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth and looking ridiculously adorable as she quirked a brow at him in question.

"No!" He rushed to close the gap between them, hands outstretched "No, I swear…I waited ages_"

"It's okay…I had to speak to Mr Weller before I left, I'm sorry I wasn't here on time."

"You came. That's all that matters." Nick smiled.

Jess swallowed nervously and walked the few steps out of the doorway, stopping when she reached Nick and lowering herself down to sit on the top step, tucking her skirt under her legs before patting the concrete next to her. He nodded, taking a seat and leaning forward to rummage loudly through his bag.

"Ah, _damn it!_ " He exclaimed, thumping his fist against his thigh in frustration.

"What's wrong?"

Nick grunted, removing a very battered and wilted red rose from the depths of his bag. Grimacing at how pathetic his gesture now looked, he shook his head.

"I picked this for you on my way here. I wanted to apologise for earlier and now I've messed it all up." Nick frowned, shoulders slumping "I'm sorry, I should never have put it in my bag…I don't know what I was thinking. I'm such a dumbass."

He lifted his gaze to see Jess looking at him, a little giggle escaping as she took the rose from his grasp.

"I love it." She insisted with a scrunch of her nose.

"You don't have to lie." Nick rolled his eyes and pouted, spinning his cap backwards on his head and scrubbing his hands down his face.

"Have I ever lied to you, Nicholas?"

Well, she had him there.

She hadn't, not once. Jess was big on honesty – good or bad (like the time she pointed out that the pimple on his forehead looked angrier than Mrs Young after discovering her car had been TP'd by the football team because she gave the quarterback detention).

She didn't shy away from the important stuff, and it made Nick feel even worse that he hadn't been able to bring himself to afford her the same courtesy.

"Look, Jess…I know I should have told you about Chicago earlier. I'm _really_ sorry – I swear I didn't mean to upset you. I just didn't know how to break the news, so I kept putting it off…the last thing I _ever_ wanted to do was make you cry. You know that, right?"

Jess had nodded her head and tried to smile, but Nick saw her swallow hard when he mentioned Chicago – as if she had momentarily forgotten.

"I know…" She said quietly, her fingers tentatively reaching for his and linking their hands together "…I just wasn't expecting the news, and it really caught me off guard."

"If it makes you feel better, I didn't tell Winston until after first period…?"

"Is _that_ why he was crying in the library at lunch?"

"He was _crying_ in the library?!"

"Uh-huh…"

"Oh, damn…no wonder I couldn't find him. Looks like I need to pick another flower before I go see him later." Nick laughed wryly, and Jess gave his fingers a little squeeze, knowing that it wasn't any easier on him seeing their reactions than it was for the rest of them to hear the news that he was leaving.

"I'm sorry I ran off this morning. I knew I was about to cry, and I didn't want you to see me like that…"

"Jess…"

"I should have let you explain. I just got scared." Her voice started to wobble again.

"I promise I'll tell you everything I know about the move at dinner tonight – that is, if I'm still welcome?"

"Of course – my Mom hasn't stopped talking about it since the weekend!" Jess sniffed, taking a deep breath and wiping a thumb under her eyes.

Leaning herself against Nick's side, his arm draped itself over her shoulder and held her close.

"I missed hanging out with you today…" He sighed into her hair.

"You too."

"Winston's cool, but he's no Jessica Day."

They laughed, cuddling closer together on the top step outside the school. Sitting quietly, they watched as the playing fields and school car park emptied and the sun began to get lower in the sky.

"So, what happens now?" Jess asked sadly, turning to face him.

Bringing the back of her hand to his lips so he could press his mouth hard against the soft skin there, Nick got to his feet and tugged Jess upwards into his body so he could wrap his arms tightly around her. He felt her weight relax against his chest as he dipped his chin to kiss her on the temple.

"Honestly? I don't know..." He admitted.

…

…

***A/N - Hope you liked, hopefully i'll be able to update again soon :) Feedback is super helpful!***


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